I’m In A Fucking Pissy Mood But I Won’t Rant About That

I Have Gained About Ten Fuckin Pounds.!!! I Wanna Die -_-

I’m About 102lbs Now..

My Doctor Wants me To gain More, I Am Back In Therapy And My Shrink Is Making me Go To A nutritionist. -_-

TO GAIN MORE FUCKIN WEIGHT.!

I Just Wanna Ball Up And Cry and Rot..I Wanna Be Dead.

I’m Actually Happy I’m Gaining Some Weight..I’m Happy.

I Still Freak Out A When I Step On The Scale And Se That I’ve Gained Weight..But I Know Its For The Better.!

I Am Tired Of Being Forced to Eat…

And Drink Those Ensure…

I’m Not Gaining Weight Fast Enough…For Them

And My Next Appt. Is Next Wednesday…

I Really Don’t Want to Go…

I Think I’m Going To Unfollow All Of The Blogs That Post Thinspo…ugh This Is Hard.

I Feel like Such A Failure How i Let myself Fall Back Into My Old Habit And Lose So Much Weight..Now I Have To Do This Recovery Shit over Again..ugh. This Is So Hard =(

Since My Family Noticed How Small I Have Gotten..I Have To Start Drinking My Ensure Again. And They Are Trying To Feed Me To Death.! I’m Trying To Cooperate, 

Since I Moved IN With My Mum And Fam In NY They Have A Scale.!

I Just Weighted My Self….*Drum Roll* I Weight 

92lbs 

From 104 to 92…..

Since I Don’t Know How Much I Weight Because The Scale Is Gone..How Much Do I Look…?? I Know I’m Deff Not 100 Anymore =/

I’m gonna go Watch Rugrats And Read My New 17 mag. 

I Would Love If Someone Would Talk To me Though. I Need To Keep My mind Occupied.

I Hate When People Tells Us To Stop Obsessing Over Our Weight. If It Was That easy Don’t You Think I Would. Do You Think I Like Constantly Thinking About My Weight 24/7.? having My World Revolve Around Food And How Thin Or Thick I Look.? Its Not Easy And I Hate It.

I just Read A Post And It Really Got To Me. I Can’t. When Will People Realize